Quotes from Spring 1997
Instructor quotes
Stupid/Humorous things my teachers told me (and everyone else in my class)
this semester.
- The first thing that we're supposed to talk about is a motivation for
studying this... awe come on, ... you guys don't need that.--1-14-97
- I could sing if this is too boring... might as well just lecture.--1-14-97
- If you were hoping for measure theory and now you get proof by picture,
you might be disappointed.--1-14-97
- I haven't tried to do the homework yet, so I don't know how hard they
are.--1-21-97
- You can stop by if you have trouble with the homework, but I make no
promise as to how useful I'll be.--1-21-97
- Let me summarize this stupid string of things here by...--1-21-97
- A channel that is as bad as it is good is really good. Does that make
sense?--1-23-97
- I don't want to bore anybody. I really hate to think about it. It
really bugs me.--1-23-97
- Is the consensus that problem number 7 is impossible?--1-28-97
- Today's topic is Poisson processes. Poisson means fish in French, but
this has nothing to do with fish.--1-28-97
- I'm going to call them arrivals because hap'nins sounds stupid.--1-28-97
- I've got a proof here that runs on and on and on and on and on.--1-28-97
- I didn't realize that some of the answers for the homework were in the
back of the book... pretty nice huh?--1-30-97
- Well let's leave this because it's really starting to feel tedious.--1-30-97
- I think everybody ought to sit down and look at this whole silly thing
and see if you believe it.--1-30-97
- We're tired of this subject, we don't understand it, we'll just move on
to something else.--1-30-97
- Why don't we say come heck or high water, whether I've got it done or
not, turn in the homework on Thursday.--2-4-97
- I don't know about you guys, but I'm really getting tired of Poisson
processes... maybe we should quit doing this.--2-4-97
- When I write _____, I mean ____ and when I write ____, I mean ____, except,
of course, when I don't mean that.--2-4-97
- Remember what V_n is? V_n is... oh, you can find it in your notes.--2-6-97
- That's a little wishy-washy, but it's correct.--2-18-97
- I'm really tired. I don't feel like doing this anymore, but we can't stop
because if we do, we only get 1 1/2 hrs two times a week. So we'll
just continue on, even though I feel like lying down.--2-18-97
- How are you doing? Are you happy?... Neither am I.--2-20-97
- It's like the check's in the mail, but by God, I've almost got the homework
done.--2-20-97
- We could stop here, but the book keeps going and I don't know any better,
so we'll keep going.--2-20-97
- Is this interesting to anyone?... or should we just lay on the ground until
the snow covers us up?--2-20-97
- We are going to study, if you have to (say you're addicted) the best way
to gamble.--2-25-97
- The arguments are right, but they aren't pretty.--2-27-97
- I like this argument much better [than what I put in the homework solution]
because you can blow the answer out like a man would rather than like a
weasel.--2-27-97
- If you solved it this way, you're to be congratulated. Unless, of course,
you cheated and looked at Billingsley [a text book] and then you are not
to be congratulated. I'm not to be congratulated.--2-27-97
- If you go to Vegas and grab winos on the street and interrogate them, I'm
sure that they all have a [gambling] strategy.--2-27-97
- You guys are all sticking around for spring break, right?--3-4-97
- You can do... I did that here [in my notes], but I'm not going to bug you
with it.--3-4-97
- Nobody has a problem with that?... Nobody want to see anymore.--3-4-97
- If you're addicted and you just have to gamble, there are better ways to
do it.--3-4-97
- We know that when we quit playing the dealer in Vegas doesn't just sit
there like a dork and keep flipping the coin, but it's helpful to think
of it that way.--3-6-97
- Okay, where the heck am I. I'm getting amazingly confused.--3-6-97
- I wrote a quasi rigorous argument for this obvious fact, so I won't
bother you with it.--3-6-97
- I didn't realize this digression would take two weeks.--3-6-97
- This Savage name is big in this crap.--3-6-97
- I haven't seen the grader in awhile. Is he around?--3-18-97
- At the end of the semester I have to give grades... we'll have a
horrible ordeal for a final.--3-18-97
- We just need the Greeks, they could do triangles.--3-18-97
- Here's an interpretation. It's not particularly clear to me that it's
helpful, but it's an interpretation...--3-20-97
- This may not be productive, but since I'm not productive with everything,
I'm going to force you to not be.--3-20-97
- We'll call this an intuitive derivation. I'm not sure what's so intuitive
about it. I guess I'm just not intuited with it.--3-20-97
- This proof is just begging for a picture... it's so
heuristic anyway.--3-20-97
- I've got to think a little. Of course, it's hard to think when I'm
standing up because my brain is... I don't know where my brain is,
but it's not in my head.--3-20-97
- That's a proof by picture. Let's just leave it at that and all go home
and draw little pictures until we're blue in the face and either believe
it or not.--3-20-97
- I don't do Roman numerals. Do I look like a Roman.--3-25-97
- I just about wet my pants... Absolute fear when I don't have all my notes.
Particularly when I don't know what's going on.--3-25-97
- The question is, "Can I find two problems that I can do in an hour?"...
Well, maybe that's not important. I could never finish exams when I was
in grad school, why should I be able to now?--4-1-97
- Have a good weekend, or whatever it is... or have a good Tuesday.--4-1-97
- I made these notes so fast, I'm a little concerned about their
accuracy.--4-8-97
- I really can't think at this moment.--4-15-97
- I'd refund your money, but I don't have the authority to do it... You're all
on assistantships anyway, so it doesn't matter.--4-15-97
- Come by on Tuesday and if we have class, we'll have class.--4-15-97
- Here's how the final exam will work, not that I'm ever going to grade
it, but...--4-29-97
- I just had a thought in my mind, but it disappeared.--4-17-97 (Guest
Lecture)
- My contention is that this is correct. I can't think of why it is right
now, so let's go on.--4-17-97 (Guest Lecture)
- Prof. ********* told me not to make him look bad. I think that I'm doing
a good job so far.--4-24-97 (Guest Lecture)
More Instructor Quotes.