Quotes from Fall 1992
Instructor quotes
Stupid/Humorous things my teachers told me (and everyone else in my classes)
this semester.
- I shouldn't say this because it will probably confuse you. Let me just
write it down. 9-2-92
- What I just said is a lie. 9-2-92
- You're all big guys, you can do that. 9-9-92
- I wake up in the middle of the night sweating, thinking about how happy
Cauchy was when he found that. 9-11-92
- We're going to leave the rigor totally behind at this point. 9-18-92
- To do anything right would be too hard, so we won't. 9-21-92
- I have no problem with testing you over stuff you've never seen before.
I'll sleep fine. 9-23-92
- I won't tell you where I live, or my phone number so you can't find me when
it's all over. 9-23-92
- I don't put the low on the board to make fun of you. It's just something
you should know, kind of like if you have cancer. 10-2-92
- We're going to spend some quality time on filter design, no I'm just
kidding. 10-2-92
- I don't really like filter design, true confessions. 10-14-92
- Parks & McClellen is the best thing to come along since indoor toilets for
Electrical Engineers. 10-16-92
- Closed book, notes, calc, but you can bring MatLab on your little PC.
10-21-92
- You don't need to write this down, for crying outloud. 10-24-92
- I don't like numbers but ... 10-26-92
- I'm not going to ask you to design a two's compliment adder on the test.
Although I could, everything's fair right? It has been so far. 10-26-92
- Who cares, it's boring. I apologize for this boring example. Maybe I'll
come up with a better example some other day. 10-28-92
- The nice thing about filters is you don't have to build them and shoot them
into space before you test them. 10-28-92
- Sigma's 1 though. Ha, ha, ha, ha, gotcha. 10-28-92
- "Do you remember it?"--Prof.
- "Yes"--Student
- "Oh cool."--Prof. 10-28-92
- I feel like I meant to say something important and now I can't remember what
it is. 11-6-92
- Where were we? Does anybody write this stuff down? 11-6-92
- Did anybody do that problem? [One guy raises his hand] Good, then I'll come
over here and talk to you. 11-6-92
- We're not going to do that because, as far as I'm concerned, we've spent
all the time int the world on it and I'm sick of it. Sick, sick,
sick. 11-6-92
- Then we're going to talk about Neil Gallager's favorite topic: median
filtering so he will vote for me when I'm up for tenure. 11-6-92
- [Kid walks out of class early] Where are you going? Just kidding.
11-6-92
- If God was shooting arrows at a target, He could hit every time, if He
wanted to, but He probably hits with a normal distribution. 11-9-92
- If you're getting fat you suck in one place and you bulge out somewhere
else. 11-11-92
- You can use P, S, G, U, V, or anything, and if you're teaching a class
you'll try to use as many as you can. 11-11-92
- I've never seen anyone give the politically correct definition of
bias. 11-13-92
- By the way, we've got a paint war Saturday. A bunch of snot nosed students
are taking on the faculty. Come on out and shoot me up. 11-13-92
- I wish I could say more but I'd have to sit down and think about it, and
that would be both painful and dangerous. 11-16-92
- The real world, believe me, is not rational or linear. 11-18-92
- Any questions about the test? You know now that it's hopeless anyway,
right? Why bother to ask? 11-20-92
- I didn't do this before, so no safety net. I feel tinglely. 11-30-92
- Don't fill these [teacher evaluations] out until I leave. It may influence
the way I feel about you. And boy, would it ever. 11-30-92
- It's an act of bravado for me to give course evaluations when I hand back an
exam. All I can say is, "feel your anger Luke. Go over to the dark
side." 11-30-92
- Gary Wise said some bad things about Purdue and we got pretty miffed, but
then he had a heart attack and people thought better of him. 12-2-92
- Kolmogorov--I would lick his boots if he walked in here. Of course, he's
dead, and I wouldn't touch a corpse. 12-2-92
- "How many of you computer wienies know this?"--Prof.
- "Shouldn't there be a inverse sign there?"--Student
- "Yeah. Ah, computer wienie, now I know you're one."--Prof. 12-4-92
- This handout won't be on the test. Do whatever you want with it: light
reading over Christmas, roll cigarettes, light the yule log... 12-7-92
- I sat down to think about what to ask you on the final and couldn't remember
what we did in here. 12-7-92
- [Guy walks in late] You're late buddy, and this is important. We're
talking about your grade. We just voted on your grade and let me tell you,
your colleagues weren't impressed. 12-7-92
- It will be clear from the context that when I write "log" I mean log base
whatever I want it to be. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is
to figure out what the heck I mean. 12-9-92
- If you go around spouting this as Shannon's entropy in the wrong circles
you'll get spanked and told, no it's not, nanny nanny na. 12-9-92
- If it was 1982 and Ronald Reagan was our fearless leader, you'd all have
jobs. 12-9-92
- "Where does the (sin x)/x function come from?"--Student
- "Hades."--Prof. 12-10-92
More Instructor Quotes.